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20 Dec 2012 / Julie

reflection 2012

Regardless of what does or doesn’t happen tomorrow with the world-ending thing, I think it’s not too far off the truth; The world did end in 2012.  The world as we know it, anyway. The world I knew.

This year I lost and gained great things. Big and small and in ways I never could have fathomed.  And it is from within the ashes I stand, a phoenix.

My trainer would use that metaphor to push us past the pain and into the vision of what the future could hold. We were Warriors, rising as phoenixes.

Being on the other end of everything that has occurred this year allows me to see all it’s events clearly. I already shared with you the big epiphany I had about success earlier this year, which seems to be both yesterday and lifetimes ago, but there have been other lessons taught and other clarities found.

The pace at which the Universe threw itself at me this year is actually quite ridiculous. The year started like any other, but it wasn’t until the fourth month when it all started to fall apart and it all started to be reborn.

I’m smiling as I write this because another thing just occurred to me – nine months have passed since all hell broke loose, the world shifted on it’s axis, and i was flung into my journey.

It takes 9 months to grow a child in your belly. This year i was in the belly of the Universe and I had no option* but to grow. and grow i did.

The song I embedded above (which I think is the most beautiful version of Mr. Cohen’s original) has these lyrics:

Well it goes like this:
The fourth, the fifth,
The minor fall and the major lift

I believe that art, once made, regardless of medium, is no longer the property of the artist as far as interpretation goes. Art’s real meaning, and real life, is in the eyes, hearts, and minds of those who interact with it and are affected by it. To that end, those lyrics, regardless of their original intention, speak to me about my year.

That the fall is never as bad as you think it is or will be.
That the lift is always greater than you think possible.
That there will always be a fall. But there is also always a lift.

If there are no ups and downs, you’re dead…

I would love to share with you what I’ve learned about life and about myself but a lot of it is very personal and would do better told over a warm drink or a glass or three of wine with friends. There are big themes though, which I will share**:

  1. Beyond the people in your life, not much else matters. People you know, people you haven’t yet met. People you love and who love you.
  2. You must pay attention. Both for success and because otherwise you will miss great things.
  3. You must do more of what makes you happy and less of what makes you unhappy. Every day. Let go of the things that don’t help you come alive.
  4. Your life is entirely up to you; nothing can hold you back unless you believe it can. The only walls in your way are the ones you put there. Your misery and your happiness are both in your control. Happiness is a choice. Make it. Don’t wait for life to start, start it.
  5. The trouble is, you think you have time.
  6. You can see the stars better in darkness.
  7. Keep walking, wonderful things are always waiting just around the corner.

For me the last nine months were times for hitting bottom and time for sailing in space. But it’s those high peaks and deep valleys that made this year one of the best I’ve ever had. I’d much prefer being all over the map like that than flatlining.***

So it is with this gift that I think I always had but could never see, all this new knowledge about my soul, my body, my wants and needs, that I travel happily into the future, embracing 2013 (even if it is an odd #), looking forward to all the trouble i can get into, the friends I will keep and make, the adventures I will have, and the happy life i will continue to create for myself.

I wish you all the best in 2013 and beyond. May you have your epiphany moments too and be able to embrace the magic when it happens and create a little of your own when it doesn’t.

With much love,

===

* my mother informs me that i did indeed have another option – to grieve, stagnate, go backwards, die. but that didn’t seem like much of an option to me.

** for more wisdom and things i’ve found to be true/lovely, check out my pinterest board

*** true to my research nature, i tried to learn about how to read a heart rate monitor in order to properly use it in my metaphor. And while I got the gist, I am not a medical professional and decided to steer mostly clear. :-)

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